Losing a family member is one of life's most painful experiences. When someone you care about is grieving, you might feel unsure of what to say. You want to offer comfort—but worry you'll say the wrong thing. The truth is, words alone can't erase their pain, but the right words can show love, support, and empathy.

Start with Simple, Sincere Words

You don't need to give long speeches or profound advice. Short, honest messages can mean the most. Try saying:

  • “I'm so sorry for your loss.”

  • “I can't imagine how hard this must be.”

  • “I'm here if you need to talk or just sit quietly.”

  • “Your [mother/father/sibling] was a wonderful person. I'm grateful I got to know them.”

These phrases acknowledge the loss without trying to fix it.

Avoid Clichés and Unhelpful Phrases

Certain phrases, though common, can unintentionally hurt. Try not to say:

  • “They're in a better place.”

  • “At least they lived a long life.”

  • “Everything happens for a reason.”

  • “I know how you feel.”

Even with good intentions, these statements can seem dismissive of the person's grief.

Offer Specific Help

Instead of saying “Let me know if you need anything,” offer something concrete:

  • “Can I bring you dinner tomorrow night?”

  • “Would it help if I picked up the kids from school this week?”

  • “Can I come by and walk the dog?”

Grieving people are often overwhelmed. Specific offers are easier to accept.

Say Their Loved One's Name

Don't avoid talking about the person who died. Saying their name shows you remember and honor them.

For example:

  • “I remember when Mark helped us fix the porch. He was so kind.”

  • “Your mom always made everyone feel welcome. I'll miss her too.”

Sharing memories is a gift.

Be Present in the Long Term

Grief doesn't end after the funeral. Continue checking in weeks and months later. Send a message, invite them for a walk, or simply ask, “How are you doing today?” Your continued support means more than you might realize.

Final Thoughts

You don't need perfect words. Just show up with kindness and listen without judgment. Sometimes, the most comforting thing you can say is: “I'm here. I care.”